Why you don't want the honeymoon phase back (and what's actually better)

You've heard it a thousand times: "keep the spark alive, get back to how it used to be, recreate that honeymoon phase magic." But what if that's the wrong goal entirely?

Here's what nobody tells you: the honeymoon phase was a drug state — literally. A neurochemical cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine, and nerve growth factor that made you want constantly, but didn't actually deliver the goods. Research shows that only 49% of women climax in new or casual encounters, compared to 70% in long-term committed relationships. You were having more sex, more urgently — and less actual satisfaction.

In this episode, I unpack the neuroscience of New Relationship Energy (NRE), why it was never meant to last, and — most importantly — what becomes available on the other side of it when you build intentionally. Spoiler: it's not a consolation prize. It's deep satisfaction that a honeymoon phase literally cannot give you.

You'll learn:

• What's actually happening in your brain and body during the "honeymoon phase" of NRE (and how serotonin actually drops)
• Why the NRE fade is completion, not failure
• What long-term desire offers that new relationships never can — being truly known, a partner who has learned your actual erotic makeup, and trust built through rupture and repair (if you  do the work to build it)
• Why "trying harder" doesn't work — and what actually changes the pattern
• The new research showing that desire for novelty and desire for deep commitment aren't opposites

This episode ends with a guided future visualization to help you focus forward. 

If you've been trying to go backward, this episode will turn you around.

Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guide

More links:
Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/

Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/

About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/

Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheel

Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited. 

Transcript

Welcome to the Desire Gap Podcast. I'm Dr. Laura Jurgens, multi-certified relationship coach, desire and arousal specialist, and former research professor. And this show exists for one reason: desire discrepancy is one of the least understood experiences in long-term relationships, and most couples never get real tools to solve it. I created the Desire Gap Bridge method to change that — it is a practical body-based approach for both partners without blame, shame, or pressure. If one of you wants sex and the other doesn't, you are exactly who this show is for. Let's get into it.

Hello, my dears. Welcome to today's episode. I am really excited about this one, because I just think it's really important. So, let's imagine for a minute — we've all seen it in movies, and maybe we have experienced it in real life — that like can't keep your hands off each other, new relationship energy, the honeymoon phase, when you get together with a new partner that you're super excited about, and you're in really intense amounts of desire. You're aroused by the sound of their voice, you just get turned on in the middle of the day, you actually do want to like just smell them intensely, and then tear off all their clothes. This is a real phase in the beginning of many relationships, not all relationships, but many romantic relationships, and it is real, and it is wonderful, and it is commonly depicted on TV and in the movies, and at some point it fades, and the thing is, we don't see in the movies and TV that it is supposed to fade, that it is actually not a sustainable state of being and not what we're always trying to be in, and that that is not such a bad thing.

So, here's a big reframe today, and I'm so excited about it, because I think it's going to really help you feel better and hopeful and joyful, and you know, I love making people feel hopeful and joyful, so bear with me. But here's the thing, nobody tells us that this is actually supposed to fade, and that that's normal, so when it does, a lot of people decide that something is wrong, that they've quote unquote fallen out of love, that they chose the wrong person, or, and this is the sneaky thing, that what we somehow need to do is get back to how it was at the beginning. Okay, so today I want to offer you something better than that, because the beginning was chemically speaking a drug state, and I mean that literally. We're going to talk a little bit more about the neuroscience of this, but more importantly, the sex on the other side, if you build it intentionally, the sex in long-term connection is actually more satisfying. The research backs this up in a way that I think is going to surprise you. So, we're going to talk about it today.

Okay, so let's take a look first at the honeymoon phase. The new relationship energy, NRE — I don't know what the kids are calling it now, but that's probably like a millennial term. The honeymoon phase is kind of like the old timer term. I don't know what the kids are calling it. You guys write it and tell me. But it's literally a drug state, and that is not an insult in any way. This is just the neurochemistry. The neuroscience is fairly robust here. This is not pop psychology. It is fun, but it is actually okay that it's temporary.

So what's flooding our nervous systems when we are in new relationship energy? Dopamine, which is that want chemical, right, floods our reward pathway and creates this intense craving, euphoria, high motivation to be with the person. The brain basically treats your new partner like a reward stimulus. It's the same pathways that get activated with food, achievement, and addictive substances, so you just want, want, want another one. Norepinephrine — this is an excitement chemical — is like the racing heart, the butterflies, the I can't stop thinking about them. It is actually a stress arousal response, and it's one of the reasons why it can feel kind of like mild anxiety in the body, and the novelty and the stress of actually not knowing — is this person that into me, are they not? — it actually can really amplify your desire. Other ones: oxytocin, vasopressin, bonding hormones high in early NRE state, reinforced by physical contact, creating feelings of connection and attachment, they can contribute to why a new relationship energy state can feel profound, like you found something real. We also have things like nerve growth factor, which ramps up during early passionate stages of love, and it appears to be part of a stress response — the body increases it with the intensity of romantic feelings early on. Serotonin is interesting because the rise in dopamine co-occurs with a drop in serotonin, which is the satisfaction chemical. So, dopamine says give me more, but the drop in serotonin says I don't have enough, I'm not satisfied, and that's why you can feel kind of simultaneously euphoric and anxious. You're not just high, you're destabilized, and interestingly, the prefrontal cortex can actually kind of quiet down — the part of our brain that's responsible for judgment, long-term decision making, risk assessment — right, dials back, and so people will overlook red flags, they will make impulsive decisions, they will feel like this person is essentially perfect, right.

So I say all this because the evidence shows us that when we are in this state, we are quite literally on drugs — beautiful, natural, neurologically generated drugs, but drugs. So I say this with warmth and love for all of us who have been there, because new relationship energy is fun. It is a fun ride, and I'm not here to take it from you. Right, you can love it, but also I'm here to tell you that it was never meant to be permanent, and that it's okay that you feel kind of crazy if you're in it, and also that what comes after, if you choose to build it, is actually even better, and kind of the point of attachment, right?

Okay, so now we have a little bit of an understanding about our drug high new relationship energy phase. Let's talk about the orgasm data, and this is the part that nobody talks about, and I really want to fill that gap today. Here is something that almost never gets said out loud, so I'm going to say it really clearly. The sex during the honeymoon phase is statistically less satisfying than what comes later in long-term relationship for women. The data are really clear. Oh my gosh, you guys, I've gotten into talking with regular people about the word data all the time. I just used it as a singular. As a scientist, I never did that. It is actually a plural word, but I'm just going to leave it. We're going to call it the data are clear, okay?

Women's orgasm prevalence is significantly higher in long-term committed relationships than in new or casual encounters, and these are heterosexual women data. This is roughly 70% of women report reaching orgasm with a long-term partner. Now, look, that's already a problem, because there's still a big orgasm gap — that is way lower than the orgasm rate for heterosexual men — but compare this to only 49% of women report actually reaching orgasm in casual or new relationship energy stage encounters. That is a 21-point gap. That means that more than one in five women who aren't coming in new relationships are coming in long-term ones. This is a big difference.

We have gone from less than a majority — so a majority of women not coming in new relationship sex — to a majority of women coming, almost more than two thirds of women coming in a long-term relationship. So just let that sit for a second, because here we are, we're having more sex, more urgently, more often — we know that is happening in new relationships — but we're coming less. The desire is higher, the spontaneous desire, the type that we're all taught to pursue, that was higher, but the satisfaction was lower, and that is what new relationship energy actually delivers for a lot of women, and nobody talks about that because the cultural narrative is centered around men and around the urgency, not the actual outcome for actual human women.

So, why does this happen? Why does this gap in orgasms exist? Why are we not coming in new relationship energy situations more than like less than half the time? And I know that was definitely my situation — I was horny as hell, and then just having the sex, and being really disappointed, and having to go home and masturbate to get myself off, or like I didn't have the tools at that time to really articulate what I needed to my partner, either. So let's actually dive into it.

Why does this gap exist? Number one, partners are still learning during the honeymoon phase. Bodies don't know each other yet. What actually works for most women — which is reliable clitoral stimulation, specific types of touch, particular emotional conditions, using a vibrator with your partner — that often takes time, attention, communication to discover, and a new partner, however enthusiastic, is essentially guessing. There is an exception worth noting, which is that women with highly positive, autonomous attitudes toward casual sex who focus on their own pleasure rather than pleasing a partner are more likely to orgasm in initial encounters. So that research tells us, one, that they're more willing to use the toys that they need because they are focusing on their own pleasure, and they're more willing to keep going until they get off, because they are focusing on their own pleasure. And so it tells us that the orgasm is closely tied to feeling entitled to your own pleasure and not being preoccupied with performing for someone else, and that is exactly what long-term trust and comfort enables for many women over time. It is a sense of, oh, actually, you know what, I'm done performing for somebody else — figure out how to get me off. Yay, right.

Okay, so why else does that gap exist? The somatic situation and context is really important here. Orgasm requires a felt sense of safety, and the nervous system has to perceive the environment, including the relational environment, as safe enough to fully relax. Your body can get aroused, but your nervous system needs to be feeling safe and relaxed, and arousal physiology for women in particular is deeply entwined with the sense of safety — the body's ongoing somatic, largely unconscious assessment of, is it safe here? And a new partner, however exciting, is an unknown quantity. A long-term partner who has earned trust is a known one, and the body responds to that difference very directly. So, the NRE high makes you want more sex, but the conditions for genuinely satisfying sex for women — for the kind where your body actually fully opens to pleasure — those are conditions that take time to build, and long-term relationships don't offer just more familiarity, they offer better nervous system conditions for women's pleasure, if you actually take the time to prioritize that and learn how to do it, and how to talk about it with your partner, and your partner takes the time to learn how to do it and be with you, and there is trust, right? So you have to build it. We can't just expect that once new relationship energy fades it's going to magically turn into orgasmic safety and ongoing desire.

So, what actually happens when the NRE high fades? Eventually habituation kicks in, brain chemistry settles, and the desire set point actually returns to baseline. It's actually not a loss of desire, it's just a return to baseline, and we see that in the data — when you have new relationship energy, the desire goes up, both responsive and spontaneous desire go up, but afterwards it's not that you lose desire, it's that you return to baseline. So that's the completion of phase one of a relationship. The neurochemistry did exactly what it evolved to do: it gave you an intense focus period of bonding motivation, and then handed it off to a different system, one that is built for long-term attachment, safety, and sustained connection.

Now, look, I'm not saying that you have to be in a long-term relationship. I don't think you do to have a satisfying life. The quality of intimacy, the quality of trust in our relationships matters. We need enough relationship and enough intimacy and trust in our relationships that we do feel connected as humans. But if you want to have a series of short-term relationships, that is absolutely your choice, and many people who are non-monogamous or polyamorous do choose to do those things, but a lot of those people also choose to transition those to long-term relationships. There's a lot of long-term polyamorous relationships out there as well that are very successful.

What many of us do want is long-term attachment with safety and sustained connection and wonderful sex. Those things are not mutually exclusive. You can still have — and even have better, more satisfying sex than you did in new relationship energy — if you know how to build it. And then you get it with somebody who you're really connected to, and it's even better. It's more soul-satisfying, and you're not just on this sort of anxious roller coaster ride, because what you're losing when NRE fades is actually just artificially elevated spontaneous desire — the like I want you right now for no particular reason version.

And hey, look, I've been watching a lot of awesome gay hockey TV shows because I'm totally diving into Heated Rivalry right now, which I highly recommend to everybody. They do such a good job of showing the elevated spontaneous desire that happens in the beginning of a relationship, but also when there is this closet dynamic where there's all this stress and anxiety and scarcity around actually seeing each other. And also, of course, they're showing men's sexuality, and it's wonderful. I love it, super hot, lovely love story, so into it. Does not include women's arousal, so really important to just name what we're looking at here is new relationship energy that is extended over a longer period of time, in part because of this closet dynamic and the scarcity and the we can't actually be together thing. Okay, so if you're also out there watching You to Revelry, I see you, I get you, go for it. I think so many people are turned on by that show, and I love that.

So, what happens when we don't have that version anymore — that artificially elevated, spontaneous desire? What remains is wonderful, and it's called responsive desire. It arises in response to context, connection, and the right conditions. And responsive desire in a long-term relationship with the right cultivation can be absolutely extraordinary. It just doesn't look like getting horny for no reason, or with somebody who is actually bad for you. It doesn't look like new relationship energy, so people assume it isn't there, but that's absolutely not true. And I think a lot of the time we assume it's not there because we don't see it depicted in the media — it's a lot harder to show responsive desire on TV — and when people confuse new relationship energy with love, or NRE-level desire with proof that desire is working, they either leave good relationships chasing the next hit or they stay and spend years feeling like something is broken. But neither of those is the right read. New relationship energy was just the ignition, it was never supposed to be the engine. The engine is something we build.

Okay, so I want to move on to talk about what long-term desire actually offers, and why it's so rewarding, and even better. There's all this stuff that new relationship energy can't give us that we can really get in a long-term connection, and it's so worth it.

So, one: being truly known and chosen anyway. During the honeymoon phase, you're not known. You are presenting a certain way, they are projecting the rest onto you, nobody really knows each other. Real, genuine intimacy — the kind that allows for true exploration of your erotic selves and your souls — requires being actually seen. Your real body, yes, you fart, your real responses, your real desires, including the ones you're a little embarrassed about, your real arousal pathway no matter how long it takes, and then being chosen anyway. And all the things that you aren't amazing at, or the ways that you're difficult — we're all difficult in so many ways — being chosen anyway, and even having people love us not just despite our flaws but in part because of them. That level of safety is not available with strangers. It is only available to long-term partners who've actually put the work in and really learned how to show up vulnerably, show their true selves to each other, really communicate with a sense of mutual celebration and connection, and learned how to navigate their differences and even celebrate them. Okay, so that's being truly known and chosen anyway. You can't get that in the honeymoon phase.

Number two, a partner who has learned your actual erotic makeup. This is one that I find genuinely beautiful and astonishing. When you take the time to learn not just what you technically like, but what state of mind you need to be in, what kind of energy from your partner, what kind of touch really opens you up versus closes you down, what words in what tone with what look land in your body rather than your head, what genuinely lights you up, what emotional weather makes your desire accessible — when you really spend time to learn your actual erotic makeup, that is an education that just keeps on giving. I actually had a client contact me the other day and send me a voice memo — a long graduated client, I think she graduated two years ago — and she was just saying our work together just keeps giving and giving. She said, nobody can ever take this away from me, that I have so much pleasure in my body now, and I had no idea when I started — I knew that I felt blocked but I didn't know what was available to me. And it's just amazing. I'm so excited for her, by the way.

But this erotic education about who you are, what your specific makeup is, what your body really responds to — when you take the time to figure that out, and then have a partner who you can communicate that to, and who learns about you and you learn about them, and you hold that knowledge together and use it with each other with care and presence — that is something that the honeymoon phase cannot touch. It is so far beyond what you get with new relationship energy. It is co-regulation at its most sophisticated, with two nervous systems that have not only learned each other deeply over time, but created safety that is encoded in your body, and it feels delicious to be known at that level and to be vulnerable at that level. From that ground, desire doesn't just become possible, it becomes available in a qualitatively different way. There is a level of desire and arousal that you can access when you get your particular puzzle piece mapped perfectly by a partner who really knows you that is so deeply satisfying that you can never get that in the beginning of a relationship with a near stranger.

Okay, number three, trust built through rupture and repair. Every long-term relationship has hard moments. We know this, right? Misattunements, conflicts, periods of distance — this shit happens. But what most people don't realize and don't know how to work with is that actually working through those moments together with real repair skills deepens the safety available in the relationship, because a nervous system that has learned, hey, when we hurt each other — which we will — we can actually get stronger together and learn how to care for each other better through that process. When your nervous system knows that, and it fundamentally knows that it's okay for you not to be perfect, because that just means you'll have a chance to learn more about each other and come closer together — when you know that in your bones, in your heart, you just have a fundamentally different capacity for safety and relaxation together and erotic opening than a relationship where that's never been tested. The act of repair, when you know how to do it, builds the trust that makes that opening possible.

All right. Number four, the slow burn. There is a quality of desire available in long-term connection — this deep, embodied, slow, rooted-in-genuine-knowing-of-each-other quality — that is categorically different from the frantic urgency and anxiousness of new relationship energy. And oftentimes we forget how anxious that energy felt. If you've had a friend who's recently been in it, or if you've recently been in it, you will remember more, but the farther away that new relationship energy gets, the more we kind of gloss over all the bad parts of it. It's kind of like giving birth, I think — the bonding chemicals almost help erase the memory of how painful it was. So new relationship energy, we don't have that anxiety and frantic urgency anymore, and the slow burn doesn't create that. It doesn't create anxiety, it doesn't spike in the same way for frantic tear-each-other's-clothes-off urgency very often — it can sometimes, especially when you really know what turns your partner on — but that slow burn really satisfies more completely a lot of times, because it comes from real knowledge and real safety rather than just a chemical override of your normal default system. So we can think of that honeymoon energy, that NRE, as a flash, a flashy bang, right? It's exciting, it's disorienting, it's memorable, and then it's gone. But having this like simmer — where it doesn't look as dramatic, but it's what actually keeps you warm — and to bring it back to the data, it's actually where women have orgasms more often.

So there's some interesting newer research on novelty and attachment, because a lot of times people are thinking, okay, but what about novelty? And look, if novelty is a core desire for you — and I've had clients like this — we just get really creative with how to create novel scenarios, and it can be really, really fun even in long-term relationships. You can always figure out how to create novel scenarios. But importantly, the research shows that novelty and attachment are not opposites. The sociosexuality research here challenges the assumption that desire for casual sex and desire for committed relationship are opposite ends of one spectrum. What we're actually seeing is that they're separate dimensions that can coexist. You can experience the desire for casual sex and the desire for committed relationships simultaneously — the motives are not mutually exclusive and they don't necessarily predict one thing for all people, right? A strong desire for pair bonding actually creates greater satisfaction, commitment, and investment in the long term. And a desire for novelty and sexual variety — we might think predicts less commitment and more interest in alternative partners — but actually, sometimes that pull towards newness and the rush of beginning, that just means that you enjoy that. It doesn't mean your relationship is broken, or that you're with the wrong person, or that you need to be a serial honeymoon-phaser where you just dump everybody the second you start getting out of the NRE energy. There are separate appetite systems, and we want to understand how we can bring some of the novelty and the rush back without expecting that we are going to have the same drug high that we did in the NRE.

So here's something really important to understand. Most couples are feeling this honeymoon phase fade, and they want to do something about it, and so a lot of people think that the answer is just to try harder, and I want to tell you that the answer is not to try harder. You have not been failing by not trying harder. People are typically trying harder at the wrong things, so it doesn't help to keep trying harder at the wrong things, right?

What a lot of people will do is reach for the tools that are out there in the cultural soup about what to do when the honeymoon phase fades. More date nights, spontaneous weekends away, new positions, reading a book about desire, scheduling sex. None of those things are bad, but the problem is when they are applied as if they're going to pull you back into new relationship energy. They just can't do that, and the problem is that they're working at the level of behavior, not at the level where the actual shift into long-term satisfaction happens, because long-term desire doesn't fade primarily because of not having the right new sex position, right, and you can certainly contribute to it by not spending quality time together, but more date nights do not typically solve the issue. Desire tends to fade in long-term relationships because of nervous system patterns and somatic patterns — predictable grooves that couples slide into, not because they stop caring, but because everybody's body is optimized for efficiency and safety at the cost of aliveness and erotic charge.

So, what do I mean by this? Because you can't really think your way out of this. What we actually need to do is change the patterns by working at the body level. The things you want to try harder at are different than what this crappy internet sex advice is telling you. Things like learning what specific conditions your body needs to really access arousal, learning your body's pace, learning your partner's erotic language, their specific responses and desires, what their arousal language is, building new embodied experiences together that create new nervous system associations and new patterning of how you find desire together, and really addressing what's in the way, whether it's unspoken resentments, shames, misattunements, past traumas, right? We want to look at the body level rather than just talking about it, because what I'm trying to help you understand is you can read about all this stuff, you can even listen to this podcast about it, you can understand everything I've said about the neurochemistry, and you can feel genuinely hopeful about what's possible — and I really want you to — but none of that will change what happens in your body when you're lying next to your partner at 10pm on a Tuesday if you haven't tried actually doing new things through experience. Information doesn't change your physical state. Experiences do. And so that's why working with someone who's trained in somatic, body-based approaches is so different from just going to therapy or ingesting more content — it's not because there's anything wrong with you, it's because that's how bodies work. Okay, so just know that.

But here's a few things you can do right now. I want to give you three things.

One, name what you're actually grieving. Most people who are missing the honeymoon phase aren't grieving the sex specifically — they're grieving the feeling of being wanted without having to ask for it, the effortlessness, being chosen urgently. And it's really important to name that precisely for both partners. It's not just a we need to spice things up — that doesn't give your partner any real information. But actually saying, I miss feeling desired in this specific way, can we talk about what that actually looked like, and whether there's a version of it available to us now — do you see how that opens up a conversation? Instead of reaching blindly for, like, we need to spice things up, I better buy those leopard print furry restraints or something, which often falls flat and then everybody's just sad and disappointed. Instead, actually name what it is that you really miss. Is it the feeling of feeling really desired without having to perform in any sort of way? What is it that you want with your partner now, and what might be available? Let's talk about what might be available to us now. How could we create a sense where I can feel that feeling and you can feel the feelings that you might miss?

Okay, step two, get genuinely curious about your responsive desire conditions — not in the past, not in fantasy per se. And I love fantasy, and I want you to do it all the time, but I want you to notice the difference between what you want to keep in your head, because there's stuff you definitely want to keep in your head — most likely, if you're an active fantasy person like me, there's stuff that's like, nope, that's just for my head, I love it, but it's always going to be inside voice — versus outside in my current life and body. I want to invite you to think about what actually creates desire for you now in your current life and body, and most people actually don't really investigate this. They start thinking about what they think should do it for them instead of what actually does do it for them. What needs to be true for you to feel not just like okay, whatever, willing, but to feel genuinely excited and interested — that's a body-based question, and it takes actual attention, not a quick Google. You can't ask ChatGPT about that, you've got to ask your own body. And you may need help with this. This is a place where a lot of people get stuck. Especially if they have shame in the way, you might want to reach out for some help.

Number three, bring the information to your partner and ask for theirs — not as a complaint or a performance critique, but as genuine sharing. Like, here's what I've noticed actually helps me open up to desire, and I would love to understand this about you too. This is the beginning of erotic knowledge building that the honeymoon phase never gave you time to develop.

So before you go, I want to invite you to try something, and if you're driving and you can't do it right now, come back to this later — don't skip this part. I want to invite you to close your eyes, if that feels comfortable, and take a breath. Imagine it is a year from now. You and your partner, if you have one, or a new partner if you don't have one right now — you have done the work, whatever that looked like for you. You've invested in actually understanding each other at the body level, and you've stopped trying to go backward and started building forward. What does your sex life feel like? I want you to imagine not in terms of frequency or positions, but in terms of how it feels in your body. What is present between you and your partner that wasn't before? What does it feel like to be genuinely known by this person, and to know them back? What does it feel like to be in a body that has learned how to fully open to your own desire in a relationship that has earned that opening? I want to invite you to stay there in that imagining for a moment, and let your body really register that future as real. And I'm going to take a pause and let you really imagine it for a moment, okay.

Okay. So what you just felt — that's not a fantasy, that's available to you, and it's not available through going backward. It's not available through forcing yourselves to try to figure out how to be on enough neurochemical drugs that you can recapture the honeymoon phase. It's available through building forward with intention in the relationship you're in. And this is what I do with people all the time, what I help people do, and it starts with exactly that kind of clarity you just felt in your body when you let yourself register what that possibility would feel like.

So look, if that lit something up for you — or maybe you felt grief alongside the hope, which is very common and equally valid — when you are ready, the work is available. I built an entire program just for exactly this, to help people stop going backward and to start building towards something that's genuinely better. So feel free to reach out when you feel ready, and I'll support you. I want to invite you, at the very least, to let yourself imagine moving forward instead of trying to recapture something that was never meant to be recaptured. All right, my dears, I will see you here next week.

Hey, so if today's episode resonated, your next step is to grab my email newsletter at laurajurgens.com/libido. That's where I share what doesn't make it onto the podcast — exclusive content, first access to everything I'm offering, and real guidance on what support actually looks like. Start with the free guide when you get there. It is a really helpful directional starting point, not just random internet advice. So, go to laurajurgens.com/libido, and I'll see you here next week.